Are narcissists mean? by Psychologist Edward Tierney ·

  • Are narcissists mean? by Psychologist Edward Tierney ·

  • Cheryl

    July 19, 2020 at 7:12 am

    “Mean as in nasty? Yes. After the idealization phase, they will start the devalue. At the beginning it will be little things, sometimes so small you don´t even notice. It gradually gets worse and worse, till eventually when they turn on you they are mean as a snake. And remember you have confessed to them all your hopes and dreams and weaknesses when you were being love-bombed- so they have ample ammunition to taunt you with.

    “Or do you mean as in stingy? That too, I´m afraid. Not with themselves- they will splash out on themselves without a care, leaving you to worry about how to pay the credit card bill. But you will be lectured all the time on how poor you are, how you cannot have that new blouse, how you cannot go on that trip. It is part of their control thing- they control the money, so they control how it is spent, and you can be sure it will be on them not you.

    “Another two reasons to avoid narcs.

    “My advice to you is, read, and become an expert on narcissism. This is surprisingly easy because they are all the same. They do the same things to everyone all the time. The advantage this gives is that you only need to read one good book and you know all about them. Then you can deal with whatever they throw at you. The best book I found for this purpose was Prepare to be Tortured- the price you will pay for dating a narcissist. AB Jamieson, Amazon. It is a good general guide, without psychobabble. It covers romantic relationships but also goes into narcissism generally, and narcs as bosses, colleagues, friends, so it is a good guide to how to deal with them. Importantly, it also has a checklist of traits-red flags- so you can learn to identify them, and then you can live a narc-free life. You will never regret it.”

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